Worst of 2019 - End of Year Report

Here are the films that I didn't think too much of last year. Some obvious duds (really, it's my own fault) and one surprising one.

10. Terminator: Genysis (2015)
Muddled, forgettable story with some wooden acting. Notably, not the worst in the series, though.

9. Ip Man (2008)
Faux-sombre, anti-Japanese piffle about the creator of martial art Wing Chun. Dull nonsense, albeit, with some ok fight scenes.

8. Rio (2011)
Overly colourful yet boring animation about an annoying bird and other animals. Jemaine Clement is the only saving grace.

7. Peterloo (2018)
Mike Leigh, what happened here? Preponderously talky, stuffy crap with cliches coming out of its peter and its loo. Just goes to show even great directors can lay steamers if the mood takes them.

6. The Commuter (2018)
Instantly forgettable train-based 'thriller'. Neeson can do much better but usually doesn't.

5. Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018)
Wet sequel to that other wordy pile. Reddy Edvayne should really get his arse back to the catwalk.

4. Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Dire, colour-by-numbers sci-fi with Christoph Waltz only making things worse by reminding us of better films he's been in. And the lead CGI/human amalg just looks like a wrongun.

3. Aquaman (2018)
Really struggling to recall anything about this film, aside from my boredom and....a lighthouse? Was Jake the Muss in it? Fuck knows why I bother.

2. John Wick 2 (2017)
Can't get on board the Wick train. I don't see the attraction of a handsome dude slaughtering assorted minions in the midst of a bog-standard storyline.

1. Finding Santa (2016)
Weird little Danish animation that I really shouldn't have watched. As Augie March said, "Not for the likes of you and me."

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