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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

This will be a brief write-up as I have to admit to a bit of 'Middle Earth fatigue'. In short The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is okay, a bit better than An Unexpected Journey and not as good as The Desolation of Smaug. I'd actually like to see one film with the Bilbo/Gollum face-off of the first and the titular battle of this one wedged into the second film somehow. Instead, we'll get extended versions, director's cuts, anniversary editions, blur, blah, blamph.......

There were some nice touches - the 'battles within the Battle' featuring Legolas (Elf) vs Bolg (Orc) and Thorin (Dwarf) vs Azog (also Orc), as well as some grotesque 'war beasts' (basically huge Orcs with battering rams for heads or catapults on their backs. Visually very Jackson-esque.

On the clumsy side - The character of Alfred from Laketown was an annoying prick and really changed the mood of the film (as well as being used for the same 'gag' a few times over).

A pet hate of mine is the irritating habit of characters in (usually modern American) movies to exclaim "I got this" or "I've got this", alongside "Let's do this" and "Let's end this". Fucking horrible. And a dwarf has a crack at it here. Bugger off. It's getting close to "It's showtime!" and "What do you want from me?!" for annoying clichés.

But finally it's the big birds that save the day again. It reminds me of this Big Train sketch. I was told you had something....a little stronger. Come on.

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